The one
absolutely unselfish friend that a man can have in this selfish world, the one
that never deserts him and the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous
is his dog – George Graham Vest (1870)
Joe Fortemose Chinakwe, the man who
named his dog after President Muhammadu Buhari is right now probably regretting
his decision to honour his dog with the name of a man he considers his hero. He
has been accused of trying to incite hate and breach the public peace. He has
been arrested and re-arrested by the police and taken to a magistrate court, which
promptly remanded him in prison until he is able to meet the conditions of his
bail. He has spent days in prison custody unable to raise the N50, 000 that he
has been asked to pay. His family members have only so far managed to raise
N20, 000. Even if he succeeds in putting that sum together, his life is
still in danger because aggrieved persons in his neighbourhood, including a man
who says he was trying to ridicule his father, have threatened to kill him, if
he shows up. The police are not investigating this threat, but they seem so
excited about dealing with the poor trader called Joe, for having the
effrontery to name his dog, Buhari.
To protect himself,
Joseph has allegedly put the dog to sleep, or thrown it away or whatever, in
the hope that once the evidence is destroyed there will be no case against
him. It is all so pitiable. Public opinion appears to be divided as to
the nature and seriousness of Joseph Chinakwe’s alleged felony, with some people
arguing that it is definitely an act of provocation and incitement for him to
label his dog, Buhari so boldly and to parade the same dog in a neighbourhood
where there are many residents of Northern extraction, whose feelings may be
injured or who may perceive that he is trying to make a political statement.
Those who want
him punished have therefore dismissed Chinakwe’s protestation that he is an
admirer of the President, or that he means well. His defenders insist that he
is entitled to free speech and there is nowhere in the statutes where a man can
be punished on the basis of the perception that some people’s feelings may be
injured, and hence, be prompted to commit murder. The law is not structured
that way.
We are dealing,
therefore with ethnic hate at the lunatic fringe. Nigerians have become so
suspicious of one another, and inter-ethnic relationship is so poisonous that
even the littlest innocent gesture could result in mayhem. This is why many
have been killed for allegedly committing blasphemy or for insulting the
religious sensibilities of some people. Remember the woman who was killed by
her students for allegedly desecrating the Quoran. Remember Gideon Akaluka.
Remember the woman who was recently beheaded in Abuja for daring to preach the Christian
gospel. We are also dealing with disregard for human freedom, and Nigeria’s
slip into a tragic season of intolerance. Why shouldn’t Chinakwe call his dog
whatever name catches his fancy? Well, may be he should have chosen an
Igbo name? But if we want national unity, why shouldn’t he take a name he
admires from another part of the country?
Ali
Baba, the ace comedian, like many others, has come out strongly in defence of
Chinakwe saying he actually has a dog in his house named OBJ, and that is quite
direct because only one man bears that sobriquet in this country, and neither
OBJ nor his kinsmen have asked Atuyota to leave Yorubaland. One of the most
famous pictures online is that of a goat named Goodluck Jonathan, with the name
written on both flanks of it. President Jonathan’s wife was also once
(July 2013) referred to as “shepopotamus” by Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka, and
before our very eyes, President Olusegun Obasanjo, donated, to a conservation
sanctuary, a chimpanzee, which he named Patience to make a point obviously.
The
parody at the time was unmistakable. We all drew humour from all of that. What
we seem to be dealing with right now, however, is the absurd deification of a
name on ethnic and partisan grounds. It is curious that the Nigeria Police is
devoting to the trial of Chinakwe, a feverish amount of energy that we have not
witnessed with regard to more statutorily relevant offences. This hullaballoo
over the giving of a dog a name that has led to its hanging and the likely
punishment of its owner is one distraction too many. We are above all else,
dealing with a storm in a tea cup, occasioned by a culture shock, and our
underdeveloped understanding of the relationship between man and animals.
Chinakwe
says he chose the name Buhari out of admiration. And he may well be right, and
he would have been right, and there would have been no problem if he was living
in Europe or North America. But he lives in a country where animals have no
rights and no recognition other than as victims of human predators, and a dog
in our culture is to be treated as an instrument or as meat for the soup pot.
Elsewhere, a dog has earned its reputation in mythology and actuality, as a
man’s best friend. The root of this is that a dog is considered the most
beloved, the most loyal and the most dependable of all animals. People use dogs
to guard their homes, to keep away intruders, even to play with children and as
companions in the home. There are many stories and legends about the loyalty of
dogs. Hawkeye is the name of a famous dog who lay next to the casket of its
owner who died in active service as a US Navy SEAL.
There is a
film, “Hachi, a dog’s tale,” starring Richard Gere, about Hachiko, a dog who
greeted his owner at the train station everyday and after the owner died, the
dog went to the same station for nine years. Recently, I posted on instagram
the picture of a dog in Santa Catarina, Brazil, Negao the dog, whose owner died
eight months earlier and the dog remained outside the hospital awaiting his
owner’s return. In the United States, a police dog has been given a state
burial, draped with national colours in appreciation of its loyal and
meritorious service to the nation. Many centuries ago, Homer wrote in Odyssey, about a loyal dog, Argos who
waited for Odysseus until he returned.
The established normal is that a dog can be trusted more than a human
being. And this is why in other parts of the world, when people name
their dogs after celebrities, they are actually paying compliments and showing
respect. World figures like Elvis Presley, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Louis
Vuitton, Mandela, Clinton, J. F. Kennedy and others have had their names given
to either cats or dogs, and it is no big deal. Admirers transpose their
feelings from man to animal. Joseph Chinakwe may actually be saying that
President Buhari is a loyal, trustworthy, supportive, dependable and
companionable Guardian of the Nigerian estate. It would have been a different
thing perhaps if he had given that name to a tortoise, a rat, cat, a fox, or a
chimpanzee. But in a country where every animal is considered a prey or a
lower, spiteful creature, using the metaphor of a dog could be risky as the
Chinakwe case has shown. In Nigeria, we treat animals badly, and we don’t
consider anyone a friend, man or animal. We are vengeful, mean and suspicious.
We are so scared we are even afraid of domestic and domesticated
animals.
In other
societies, animals are treated with greater respect and in the United States
for example, the life of a dog is far superior to that of a human being in
Nigeria. I have written about this twice: In “A Dog’s Life” (1996), I
reflected on the life of a dog owned by Stanley Meisler (God bless his soul)
and his wife, Elizabeth Fox, my hosts during my journalism programme at the
University of Maryland, College Park, United States (1996 -97). I was shocked
that the dog had a room of its own, a proper room, not a kernel, and whenever
that dog fell ill, we took him to a dog hospital and Stanley bought
drugs. I saw that dog living the life of a king, better catered for than
many Africans.
I wrote
another piece titled “A Hotel for Dogs” (July 23, 2006) about a five-star hotel
in Bethesda, Washington, which attends to dogs as customers, and where dogs
enjoy a life of luxury. Established in 2003, by PetSmart Inc., by 2006, there
were 32 hotels of its type in the United States and the then spokesman of the
group, Bruce Richardson, had boasted that by 2010, the plan was to have 240
such hotels across the United States. We are talking luxury, 23 USD per night,
33USD for a dog suite, as at that time, all pre-tax, plus provisions for pooch
ice cream. In general, Americans spend about $40 billion dollars a year
on household pets. I guess that is more than Nigeria’s annual budget even by
today’s relative standards.
And so, what are we
talking about? An American dog is a big man in Nigeria by all standards. But
because we eat dogs and treat all animals badly in this country, in fact we
have no regard for human beings (consider the hundreds that get killed, raped,
kidnapped daily and nobody cares), we are bound to be incensed that anyone
would name a dog after a deified political figure. Joe Chinakwe’s sins
should be forgiven, albeit there is no morality in law, but the Nigerian
judiciary should not expose itself to further ridicule by lending the weight of
the law to such partisan trash that makes no sense. There are far more
important issues requiring serious attention in this country today.
But in case
nobody understands that and Mr Chinakwe and his counsel find themselves in a
tight corner, they should put out a disclaimer and say their dog, living or
dead, is filing for a change of name. That is perfectly within their rights to
do. And should they find themselves in any other difficult situation; they have
my full permission to rename the dog, Reuben Abati. But should you, dear reader
consider this a bad name you wish to hang, you also have my full support,
partnership and friendship to offer your own name.
If
that will put an end to this circus over the name of a dog, and set Joseph
Chinakwe free, and also remind us that we are in a democracy, please, help and
so be it. By the way, I hear Chinakwe and his sympathisers finally managed,
after a fund-raising appeal, to raise a sum of N90, 000 to perfect his bail
bond and that he is now out of detention. Would somebody in a responsible
position just put an end to this joke and let us focus on serious issues?
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