“You
look tired”
“Ha,
my brother. Thanks for being observant. I have been trekking.”
“Trekking?”
“I
went to buy fuel at that fuel station by the Estate gate. I had to abandon the
car there. On my way back home, I could not find okada or any other form
of transportation.”
“No
wonder you are sweating.”
“All
the tricyclists and the okada people claim they have no fuel.”
“It
is good for you big men to have a taste of what poor people go through. This
fuel scarcity is an effective leveler. It is no respecter of persons.”
“I
can’t wait for April 7 to come.”
“What’s
special about April 7?”
“That’s
the day we are told this scarcity will end, and there will be no more scarcity
of petroleum products.”
“You
mean a government official actually made such a promise?”
“Yes”
“Then,
that official still has a lot to learn. In this kind of matter, you must never
give a deadline because you never know. Nigerians will record the date, pretend
to be optimistic and wait for you. If you don’t deliver on the said date, you
will be branded an incompetent liar!”
“Really?”
“Trust
me. Never set a deadline. Never say things such as we will put an end to the
Boko Haram menace by June ending. We will deliver 10, 000 MW of electricity by
December, and there will be fuel across the country by so-so-and-so date?”
“But
I think April 7 is a sure date”
“I
like your optimism. You mean by April 7, the pipeline vandals would have
stopped stealing?”
“Some
concerned Nigerians, particularly Pastors, I understand have been helping the
Federal Government to appeal to vandals. They have been telling the
vandals that it is not a good thing to steal petrol that belongs to all of us.”
“You
want to stop oil theft and pipeline vandalism by preaching? Does anyone know
who the vandals are?”
“You
know we are a religious nation. When everything fails, we preach. I won’t be
surprised to hear that any pipeline vandal who repents will be recommended for
a National Honour!”
“In
that case, what are you still doing here? You too should become a pipeline
vandal, repent and get honoured. Or you don’t want a national honour?”
“Actually,
I’d rather ask the vandals to give me fuel from their private depots, so I
won’t have to face the stress of looking for fuel.”
“But
I thought we were depending on the importation of refined petroleum
products. Where are the major marketers?”
“They
are there, but they say they can’t help because market forces are now obeying
command-and-control, centralized orders which are not good for business.”
“I
know. I know. The climate has changed. There is no more free money to share in
the name of subsidy. Let the marketers continue to grumble. You know, sometimes
I actually feel that if the NNPC can quickly get its acts together and
Nigerians can endure a little, this may actually be our opportunity to free
Nigerians from the threat of oil marketers.”
“What
threat? The marketers are doing business. If the refineries work and fuel
supply across the country is well managed, we should not be in this situation.
If you frustrate the marketers, whose crime is that they feed off state
inefficiency, and you have no alternative in place, this is what you get. The
issue is also one of ideological confusion between capitalism and socialism.”
“It
is a shame that at a time the international price of crude oil is dropping,
Nigerians are having to pay an arm and a leg to get fuel. Right now, a litre of
fuel is about N250”.
“It’s
more. That is if you get it to buy.”
“Wait
a moment. You are panting. What’s that wheezing sound? You may need to
see a doctor.”
“I
can’t remember when last I trekked.”
“Fuel
scarcity is good for you then?”
“How
can this suffering be good for anybody? Do you know how many families are now treating
heat rash? Not to talk of hundreds of Nigerians who have died looking for
fuel?”
“Just
see a doctor. If you trek for about 1,000 metres and you are now looking like
you want to pass out, then for you fuel scarcity is a major help. If you
didn’t have to look for fuel, you’d be dying slowly and you may never
know. I think every big man should in fact go look for fuel and trek a
little, and listen to the people on the street. Good exercise.”
“You
must be joking”
“Well,
as it is, it is the poor who are benefitting from the crisis. Many lower class
Nigerians now trek to work. They can’t afford the high cost of transportation,
so they just hit the road with their feet.”
“You
must be kidding me”.
“Two
days ago, I saw a long stretch of trekkers, returning from work, moving from
Victoria Island to the Mainland, looking like they have accepted their fate.”
“Too
much trekking can kill.”
“Looks
like that former Minister who once recommended that Nigerians should use the
bicycle is about to be vindicated at last. The bicycle will be our best bet
under the circumstances.”
“Stop
being funny. Families will use the bicycle to take children to school? Or Madam
will go to the market riding a bicycle?”
“Nigerians
must learn to embrace change. Our problem is that we don’t always see the good
sides of everything. Are you aware that this fuel scarcity crisis has
created many jobs?”
“You
mean it has resulted in many job losses. With the rise in the cost of goods and
services, many companies have had to lay off staff. If you spend half of your
profit on generating electricity and buying fuel at cut-throat rates, you’d
have sooner or later to cut costs. The first casualties are the workers. Even
big companies can no longer pay salaries. Small and medium scale enterprises
are folding up.”
“In
your estate?”
“What
do you mean in my estate?”
“Because
you see in this life, when some people are crying, some people are smiling. All
those boys selling black market fuel in jerry cans by the roadside, I hear they
are praying that there should always be fuel scarcity. Many of them are now
multi-millionaires.”
“Profiting
from other people’s agony. Is that your understanding of how a proper economy
works?”
“I
am an optimist. Those boys selling fuel are very happy. If there is regular
supply of fuel tomorrow, they wont’ be happy.”
“Please
stop this cynicism.”
“Cynicism?
Look, if this thing continues beyond April 7, don’t be surprised if you see me
by the roadside also hawking fuel in jerry cans. I will add some swag to
my own; organize the jerry cans nicely and put up a visible sign-board with the
inscription: NNPC Mega Station! I have been making enquiries.”
“Your
mates are aspiring to own fuel stations, become major marketers, or even own
oil fields, your ambition is to sell fuel in jerry cans.”
“Some
of those boys selling fuel in jerry cans are university graduates. I did my
research. You do yours.”
“You
are exaggerating”
“No,
I am not. You mean you have not seen Ph.D holders in this country who are
working as drivers or running pepper soup joints or selling pure water? You
better change your mentality. My friend, try and change.”
“It
is not that bad, please.”
“Okay.
Are you aware that many graduates are ready to join the Nigeria Police as
constables? And they will be glad to be posted to checkpoints where they can
check vehicle particulars, and the pockets of motorists.”
“Pockets?”
“Yes.
Why do you think there has been such a massive rush for jobs in the Nigeria
Police. The Police recently placed an advert asking for applications. The two
websites for online application crashed within 4 hours.”
“Wonderful.”
“They
are looking for just 10, 000 new recruits. They received more than 8, 000
applications within one hour. If the portals did not crash, there would
have been over a million applications.”
“Na
wa o”
“Na
wa ya o. We really need a miracle to happen.”
“No
fuel. No electricity. No rainfall, either, as if God is holding on to the
rains. Everywhere is so hot. I hardly sleep at night.”
“I
still think you should see the doctor. And luckily for you, you may not have to
pay the hospital.”
“How
do you mean?”
“The
Minister of Health has just directed all teaching hospitals and
government-owned hospitals to treat patients free of charge.”
“Indigent
patients or every patient?”
“We
are all indigent, my friend.”
“But
I don’t know why you take the Minister serious. You and I know he is just
talking. No hospital will listen to him. And by the way, is he in a
position to give such directives to state-owned hospitals? Even the ones owned
by the Federal Government, do they have enough funds to embark on free
healthcare? Government officials just must talk.”
“You
can’t say that until you find out.”
“No.
I don’t need to find out. I know.”
“Just
take care of your health. I don’t want it said that you slumped while looking
for fuel.”
“I’ll
be fine”.
“Nigeria
too will be fine. You remember that baby girl who was shown looking
malnourished, and emaciated four months ago. Adacheka. And the boy now called
Hope who was found in Akwa Ibom, left for dead, emaciated and sickly, in
January. When I see the pictures of both children and how they have been saved,
I think of our country, Nigeria. Miracles still happen.”
“I
don’t believe in miracles any more.”
“Why
not? Nigeria will soon start operating on nuclear energy level.”
“Really?
People look for miracles when they are desperate or losing hope. In football,
for example, Nigerians are looking for miracles right now. The Super Eagles
have disappointed the nation. Indigenous coaches have failed us. From Stephen
Keshi, to Austin Eguavoen, Samson Siasia and Sunday Oliseh, no hits, back to
back, all na failure.”
“You
don’t become a successful coach and manager just because you once captained a
team. You need technical skills. You need the right people.”
“That-is-the-point!”
Reuben
Abati is a journalist and a former Media Aide to former President Goodluck
Jonathan
Email:cknnews1@gmail.com
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