Chris Ngige's Conversation With Tinubu Over Anambra Election (Just A Joke)

Hahahahaha..read this joke..Phone Conversation Between Tinubu And Ngige After INEC Released Anambra Guber Election Result

Tinubu: Chris! Chris! Chris! How many times I call you!?

Ngige: Sir! Asiwaju, good evening, Baba.

Tinubu: Don't good evening me! What is good about the evening? You didn't even come 2nd instead you came distant 3rd disgracefully. Haaaa, Ngigeeee!

Ngige: Asiwaju, emm, emm! Please, you know this boy Peter; he really used incumbency power against me even in my village and father’s compound, he overwhelmed me and my structures and foot soldiers. 

Tinubu: Shut your trap, shut up! Which incumbency? I gave you 35 billion, 35 billion naira! Chris, where is it – the 35 billion naira? Or are you mad?

Ngige: Asiwaju, no! It’s 25 billion.

Tinubu: Koni da fun'e! Chris, nothing good will ever come to you because it seems that you don’t appreciate good things. Fashola – 5 billion; Fayemi – 3 billion; Aregbesola – 3 billion; Adams – 5 billion; Amosun – 3 billion; Ajimobi – 3 billion, and Buhari and Co – 3 billion. How much is that? Do you think that Asiwaju Private Company (APC) has money to waste or runs charity organization or a Father Christmas? 

Ngige: But, Asiwaju, that’s 25 billion, not 35 billion.

Tinubu: Haaa, oloshi! According to APC arithmetic, that is 35 billion. Chris, you are useless. We gave you: 180 mercenaries, 100,000 fake voters’ cards, 300 election observers’ cards, 200 INEC ID cards, INEC stamps, plus 35 billion naira, yet you couldn’t perform, you came distant 3rd even in your own village and father’s compound, you were beaten hands-down. Haba! You are very useless, Chris.

Ngige: (Stammering) You know they arrested the boys. And, Asiwaju, it’s 25 billion.

Tinubu: I also sent that short devil called Hell- Rufay to go and rig the election. Instead you Chris to coordinate him to keep his mouth shut, you didn’t and you know very well that he is suffering from diarrhea of the mouth. And he announced it on Facebook and Twitter that gave the SSS a tipoff.And so SSS got the information and detained him in his hotel room until after the election.

Ngige: Aha! I even want to report that short man to you. He was the one I wanted to use to outrig Peter in Idemili – North and South. In my own LGAs, Idemili North and Idemili South, I could have got enough votes to surpass their votes, just like what happened in the Senatorial election when I beat Dora. But Peter brought his rigging machines and stationed them in Idemili – North and South – and Hell-Rufay was nowhere to be found. Instead he preferred engaging the SSS and news reporters on Twitter and Facebook while election was going on. I could only use amateurs who did a very poor job to rig at Idemili and at the end of the day, the number of votes was more than the number of registered voters in Idemili and that made INEC to cancel the elections in Idemili – North and South.

Tinubu: Don’t report anything. He isn’t the one that made you to lose. Even Nwoye who campaigned for less than two weeks got more votes than you. I am ashamed of you, Chris, you are not smart at all!

Ngige: But, Asiwaju, the campaign is 25 billion, not 35 billion.

Tinubu: Shut your stinking trap! Or else I shut it up for you myself! See, Chris, let me just tell you, what the Ubas did to you last time will be a child’s play, if you don't return our money, you understand! Don’t mess with me, I am not the Ubas or else - you will know that I, Jagaban, doesn’t joke with money, 35 billion naira, is not 35 million naira! You even know how to do juju and charms very, very well, so you better go and do the juju - in Okija Shrine, your best marabout shrine, or any other shrine you know of even in India or anywhere in the world - and refund our money, if not?! The last time, I heard that you were locked up in a toilet and humiliated by your godfathers, the Ubas. This time around if mother lucks smile on you, you will be detained in a soak-away pit. 

Ngige: But, Asiwaju, we are going to court; we will reject the result - I have plans.

Tinubu: Ori mi'o! Chris, you are still talking of court, you that came 3rd – what do you want Nwoye to do? You are completely mad, ti ya were pata- pata - who will finance the case? I say you are completely useless.

Ngige: Baba, don’t be hard me, please, but I'm still very useful. When Oga Buhari becomes president, I can be the Minister of Finance, so you can have access to the em, emm national cake.

Tinubu: Haa! Now I know you are hundred percent mad, in fact, you are crazy, foolish man - you will enter the market square naked very soon. So you think that Buhari or any of these Abokis will become president, you are a learner – mtcheeewww!

Ngige: But you are…

Tinubu: Shut up trap, or else I shut for you myself, you are what? They are my bargaining magas. When the time comes, I will dump them as I dumped Ribadu in 2011, are you crazy? Don’t you understand Nigeria’s politics? Or is it that all those sweet-sixteens, fair-ladies and widows you flirt about with like native cock has collected the small brain God gave you – I don’t even know you and Yerima who likes women more – who is more promiscuous. Why am I even talking to you? See me in Bourdillon now. (Hangs up)

Ngige: Asiwaju, Asiwaju, hello, hello. Mtchewww, this man is real naturally born agbero-O. Chei, he too like gra-gra. Let me call Rochas first, all this Yoruba people sef.:lol