Tall,elegant and
brilliant Nigerian medical doctor Isioma Ebegbodi was murdered in cold blood by
her Nigerian husband in Texas state of America on Saturday March 22, 2014.She
attended Queen's College Yaba Lagos and later proceeded to University of Lagos to
study Medicine.
She was until her
gruesome murder a medical resident physician at Marshfield clinic in Texas.
What really went wrong between a 36 year old wife and her 63 year old husband?Was she suffering in silence until the tragedy happened?So many questions with limited answers.
A 63-year-old
Nigerian man was later charged with murder after he confessed to the shooting
to death of his wife around 3 a.m on Saturday March 22,2014 in west Harris
County, Texas USA.
Martin Ebegbodi went to a neighbour's house and asked him to call police after getting into a fight over argument and then shot his wife, 36-year-old Isioma Ebegbodi.
The Harris County Sheriff's Department arrived at the house in the 19700 block of Youpon Leaf Way and arrested Ebegbodi.
Martin Ebegbodi went to a neighbour's house and asked him to call police after getting into a fight over argument and then shot his wife, 36-year-old Isioma Ebegbodi.
The Harris County Sheriff's Department arrived at the house in the 19700 block of Youpon Leaf Way and arrested Ebegbodi.
Gbemisola
Boyede,former schoolmate to Isioma wrote this tribute for her on Facebook
Here I am just as I was breathing the sigh of relief that justice was done in the case of Titi Arowolo murdered by her husband in a grotesque act in their own home here in Nigeria
And watching with bated breath the ongoing trial of Oscar Pistorius who shot dead his girlfriend in his luxury house in Pretoria on Valentine day
I got the rudest shock of my life that a colleague, friend, former classmate in medical school was shot dead at 3am on Saturday in Texas, United States by her own husband! This is too close home for comfort!
Someone tell me what's going on?
Why are people who professed to love forever and who vowed before God and man pulling the trigger to abruptly cut short the lives they are to protect?
How do we explain this to the innocent children who are going to be deprived for life of parental love and care? Mum is dead but dad isn't available because he's serving terms for killing mum?
How? How?? How???
Please if you're in an abusive relationship riddled with domestic violence, this is the time to get out!
Please stop keeping the front of happiness when you're dying inside!
The society may not understand, we may even condemn ignorantly
But you owe it a responsibility to those innocent children to be ALIVE!
Please get out NOW to a safe house
I don't want to ever mourn another victim of spousal or domestic abuse
I can't begin to describe all the emotions I'm going through
So you can only imagine what her parents, sister and children will be going through!
This is so sad and how many times I've wished in the last 48 hours, we can turn back the hand of the clock!
Rest in peace Isioma, Issy Awele Ebegbodi and I pray God comfort your children and family and us all mourning you!
It shall be well!
With deep sadness, We announce the untimely passing of our dear friend and Colleague OGQC (93, "Z" set) Dr Isioma Ebegbodi Nee Unokanjo on Saturday 22nd March,2014 in Texas in the most tragic circumstances.
From a confirmed source,Isioma's friends and colleagues from Medilag(Unilag medical school) and concerned Nigerians are presently collecting funds together towards her three children’s education.
May God grant her family and friends the fortitude to bear this immense loss.
God bless and replenish you as you contribute to this worthy cause.
May her soul rest in peace. The age gap is too much. how could have married your father's age mate?their level of reasoning can never be same and for that reason there is bound to be problems.
ReplyDeletewas it d age gap that killed her? love has nthn to do with age. she is dead they said not her age difference killed her. when titi was killed by her husband in lagos they were about same age, yet her husband killed her.abegi may their lovely souls rest n peace
DeleteGet this fact right, age gap has a lot to do with, it affects their reasoning on issues, they both will be looking at things from different points due to their experience in life.
DeleteSo mr 'age gap' man...your bright reasoning has concluded that it was because of their age gap that she got killed? Well done. You are a very very sharp dude.
Deleteage gap or no age gap, he killed her. Does he have any right (even in marriage) to kill her?
DeleteAge difference definitely had nothing to do with this gruesome murder. Unless you want to convince us that marriages with large age difference end up in one spouse murdering the other. A murderous mind remains as such, no matter what. The man had a serious problem. Living in a country like the US teaches one to peacefully exit a potentially violent union before it becomes really violent. The system will treat his mental condition. May her soul rest in peace.
DeleteThat was not about d gap in their age. In fact one would think d gap would have made d man more tolerant of whatever was d excesses of that lady at his age. That was a case of beast in human skin. That man is a beast. Arowolo and Titi were within d same age bracket, yet we all know what happened. May her soul rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteUr rite ma bro. Age has nothing to do with this. Like you said d age gap should hav made d man tolerant if nothing at all.
DeleteMake una shut up una trash there. I bet in your widest dream you can't imagine what the husbands to these so-called doctor are going through in the states. They make their husbands worst than a pshycos. Guys we need to advocate for our men to be given some sense of pride. All because of what they earn, their husbands become less than a house help irrespective of their ages. God forbid.
DeleteYes, age may not be the issue but behaviour and cultural clash of a 30thysomething vs a 60thysomething. 30 year olds want will want party and enjoy their youth married or not, but a 60+ year old has seen it all, the party seen, and would rather relax at home with wife.
Deleteanon 9.16 rather than attack people here because of your self esteem issues, if you want to really be a man and be treated like a man and not house help get a job.be the man like your mates in Nigeria stop cab driving so that you sef can earn oh. na your type lazy ass moochers demand respect yet have no pride. dont sit up and be a man eh be looking for men to join you in your men without high income fighting for sense of pride you hear whilst your mates are trying to make it on forbes africa list. you are clearly an abusive person if u have never done it you will get there nansense
DeleteAge, cultural differences and professional career differences are factors in this case. What happens here in the states is older or sometimes same-aged men goes back home to marry a woman who is desperate to leave the shores of Nigerians to come not only to the states but with an assurance of a green card. Obviously, when they get here, the older man wants total domination while the lady knowing fully well her rights and differences in the ways. Moreover, there situayipns when the man stops working and put pressure on the lady to overwork
DeleteI don't even know how to respond to the guy who says, "Guys we need to advocate for our men to be given some sense of pride. All because of what they earn, their husbands become less than a house help irrespective of their ages. God forbid." ABSOLUTE RUBBISH. Then go and look for your type to marry and not the one that earns more than you. Yeye dey smell follow you. The fact that you are man does not mean that you are a husband. It is not your physical strength or your a possession of an organ that makes you a man; it is your sense of responsibility (which means that you the higher income earner and not a couch potato) and ability to display emotional intelligence, no matter how you are provoked. I was a victim of domestic violence and the day that my (soon to be) ex-husband met his match, a guy was much younger than him who held him to a fight, he did not lift a finger!! Whereas if it was me, at the slightest whim and oftentimes unprovoked, he would want to display his physical proweress. Of course, I lost EVERY IOTA of respect for him.
DeleteHey! the missing icon that could be identified in this kind of case is lack of understanding of the word 'love'. With love, you don't see all that unloving people see. Money, position, beauty, pride ...etc are no factors for a loving heart. In 2008, 15 Nigerian husbands killed their wives, 13 of them were Ibos while 2 were Yorubas. An insane man has lost his mind and they would result to the worst - killing? One of them killed his mother in-law and the wife, why? Let us all appeal to couples living abroad to love and women not to arrogate powers to themselves because the laws of the land favour them. From where will a 63yr old start another life if everything he has ever worked for was taken from him and given to the wife she brought to USA two or three years ago, that thinking drive them crazy and they would decide to finish it all. The truth is men should consider themselves nothing when they sign the dotted lines of 'I do' while women should see their husbands as the heads. May God Almighty comfort all the families, friends and mourners of the deceased, Amen.
DeleteHey! the missing icon that could be identified in this kind of case is lack of understanding of the word 'love'. With love, you don't see all that unloving people see. Money, position, beauty, pride ...etc are no factors for a loving heart. In 2008, 15 Nigerian husbands killed their wives, 13 of them were Ibos while 2 were Yorubas. An insane man has lost his mind and they would result to the worst - killing? One of them killed his mother in-law and the wife, why? Let us all appeal to couples living abroad to love and women not to arrogate powers to themselves because the laws of the land favour them. From where will a 63yr old start another life if everything he has ever worked for was taken from him and given to the wife she brought to USA two or three years ago, that thinking drive them crazy and they would decide to finish it all. The truth is men should consider themselves nothing when they sign the dotted lines of 'I do' while women should see their husbands as the heads.Let us appeal to them all to live in love. May God Almighty comfort all the families, friends and mourners of the deceased, Amen.
DeleteGod av mercy o
ReplyDeleteThe age is surely a factor....Doctor. Probably sudenly realized the age gap after feeling she has started making it and the man becomes hopeless and could not stand it and was ready for whatever comes with his action. He did not create and has no right to kill. See what frustration is doing to our. Brothers who have discovered the green pasture.
ReplyDeleteOne of the most sensible comments here. Of course, age might have had something to do with it. They call it "Generational Gap." They probably saw things differently. An "Old School" man and a "Jet Age" woman who saw things differently and didn't see things from the same angle as those who belonged to the same generation. For instance, I love my father, but we hardly see things the same way. He always says "During my time," and I usually say "This man has come again." NOTE: This opinion is from someone who studied how people, cultures, and other groups relate to one another. So, I know exactly what I'm saying.
DeleteNo, no, no. Too painful. What on earth is dis? I'm crying. Brillant, elegant, intelligent, oh no. Dis shd not be true. God please come to our aid.
ReplyDeleteThis days marriages is not based on love, fear of God & good morals. It is mostly on materiality. U will someone being so desperate to get married to another without even making the necessary enquiry who the spouse is & hw there family behaves. At times children of these days are ready to even marry someone else's spouse. Am not talking of polygamy. Forgetting that definitely they will get tired of that rat race Particularly our pple in foreign land.If it was home, to an instant maybe in laws may hv tried to settle them I dont say these murder don't happen here but it is more in abroad. Take heart joor
ReplyDeleteKilling of dis lady has something to do with the age, believe or NOT. If care is NOT taking, it must be attributed to de old man's age way of perception and jealousy syndrome when nothing is happening, he will assume dat something bad has happened at his back and still happening.(Old man's assumption) my grand mum died at 65yrs 2yrs ago but her ways of perceiving ideas dat time was NOT de same with my mum which was her dauughter. Age, age and age. I will call AGE again and again. It is associated with killing of dis lady. Am single and at my late 20s, A man came to me for marriage although from my town, de age gap was much bcos he has waisted most of his town abroad before he decided to base in Nigeria. Although there is mone but I complain of age gap, people said it doesn't matter and he always brainwashed me to 4get about his age. At a time, I decided to give him a trier to go closer to know him more before given it a name(Marriage) by so doing, I observed dat his perception is different cos of age and after all de vain blabbing, he will tell u dat he was just been jealous man. He will like to go out with u at all time, call u 100 times a day, sample u to people everywhere in de name of de so-called love. QUOTE ME: A jealous man is an angry man and at the same time mysterious in action. So, I have to quit and have my peace than to manage hell fire in de hands of de old man and in de name of marriage because of wealth and so-called personality. Young ladies in de house, we need to be careful
ReplyDeleteIs he the only one married to someone young enough to be his daughter? How many of them have killed their wives and mothers of their children? The age gap is there, Yes. There might be differences and issues caused by this, Yes. But should the problems escalate to the point of this man picking the gun, aiming at and shooting the poor girl? Noooooo!!!!!
DeleteMy sister, thanks for this advice. I really believe all u said. Hmmmmmmmmmm!
ReplyDeleteA Doctor even in Nigeria will do so well, so why on earth should she marry a man old enough to be her Dad? There's bound to be a generational gap, its sad
ReplyDeleteSo in your own judgement, a medical doctor can not reason enough to decide who she will marry?
DeleteNa the age gap cause the wahala!
ReplyDeleteMay her soul rest in peace!
ReplyDeleteI pray dt our Good God will give d kidz d fortitude to bear dis grt lost!
Adiue Madame Isioma
Dts one of d packages of marriage...
Being killed by the husband is one of the packages of marriage?!!!! Where is that said in the Bible?!!!
DeleteYou can do the same thing. You are as sick as this man who killed the wife!!!
So, when your daughters marry, will you tell them to expect to be killed by their husbands?!!!
Oh God grant her soul eternal rest Amen! Comfort her children and family to bear this loss and give them hope in times of despair!! So sad!!!
ReplyDeleteHeavenly father accept her soul! I' m abroad based, it's high time parents should caution and train their children about false and pretentious marriage. The issue here has something to do with age! age played a vital role. Professionalism, Wages, Documents(Visa) and Sex are major issues at hand. Most of these young ladies in questions come into these marriages with a mindset, just to better their life's, and the men are picking them for marriage because of their profession in other to better and increase income. So both parties are schemers, on the long run the weaker sex end up been the prey. My advice to upcoming one's is to be patient and forget this madness of Europe and American dream, marry your mate (age bracket should be close) and build your careers from scratch, Greed kills...
ReplyDeleteIsioma is a relative and from a very wealthy home, she didn't need a man to make her.
DeleteAge? What was the age difference between Titi (banker) and her husband?
2 people will naturally think differently!
It was just an abusive relationship. Most men naturally have little or no respect for women!
The story is unfortunate. Your analysis makes a lot of sense and is supported by research published in my book "immigration and health". We do not know all the facts, but we know that traditional marriage is up side down in America and worse among immigrants . This is the 6th or so case of Nigerian spousal murder in the last 12 yearrs. Age is not a factor but the medical/nursing field is common to all.
DeleteI was single and wanted to get married so I met my present husband who is 12years older than me. He was a nice man at the on stage and I was happy I met him, little did I know he was what we call womaniser with little or no respect for the woman at home! As I prayed to God for forgiveness to have married a man like him daily my advise is "do not always trust an older man there is something fishy behind him being single at such a time"!
DeleteThe assumptions may always tend to be that the girl, being so very much younger than the man, is the one who caused her own death.
DeleteThose with this belief comfortably gloss over the fact that she did not buy the gun, she did not plan to kill herself, she did not pull the trigger that took her own life and render her children motherless and her parents without her. Someone did the act. Are we saying he has the right to do what he has done? Even in the face of whatever he might be accusing her of?
If only she could come back to life and state her own side of the story, opening up on all that transpired between them from the day she met him up to the day the man decided she should die and he killed her.
If only...
Let's not forget that our environment, most times, influence who we are. If the couple were in Nigeria this may not have happened because whether you believe it or not, a true "African" is more tolerant of their spouses' excesses. While there is no justification to take somebody's life, I think we need to know what really happened. This is, of course, for the living. However, I must say that American Society is becoming a hell. The much freedom they taunt about is becoming their undoing. An American may withstand losing everything he worked for to his wife but can a Nigerian? Can he come back to Nigeria with the shame that he lost everything to his wife? Freedom, the American dream, could be the main issue here. Freedom to kill, freedom for same sex marriage which may in future mean a male human marrying a male dog or goat, shootings at schools, military basses, etc. God help us!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteI help trained my wife that I brought from home with my kids to work and live in the state, I even helped bring her father and mother down here with three of her brothers and sister, she make money from the health care business we created and run from my house for office, when the father and her mother came to live with us, I became a gold-digger, my wife kicked me out onto the street, I became homeless, she coached my children against me so that I don't se3e my children again, because now she has money she can do anything, only few people will take this, it take the regenerated soul to walk away from this in USA. BIBLE SAID IN GALL. 5:16 that we should be in the spirit all time, why because it is the holy spirit power that can help your soul from the demonic actions of some women. the doctor is not without fault in this too, she may have done so many bad thing before the man's unjustifiable
ReplyDeleteaction. she will go to jail for seven years.
Now that u have painted ur wife or ex in such a bad light and taking into cognizance the fact that she isn't here to defend herself why don't u tell us what really happened anon @ 5:51 in all of the crap u have spouted not once did u take any of the blame in what happened to u and ur marriage. It was all my wife, my wife, my wife only when talking about good, your name came up. Here u are casting judgment whilst quoting the bible about someone who is now dead and who u know nothing off her life, her relationship her very existence until now but yes she is not without fault, she must have done something to warrant his killing her in her prime. Women being the devils spawn we are.
DeleteYou must be Christ returned to be so without sin, to turn the other cheek and walk away, after all you did and what she put you through. I applaud you for doing NOTHING despite all that Lucifer in form of your wife did to you. Yes you just turned around and walked away. BOLLOCKS.
I would buy ur story if u accepted some responsibility rather than this woe is me and coming to cry us a river where people grieve with your negativity talking about me, me, me like anyone cares. Are you not in America abi poor person nor dey go court. No more public defender? It is clear who you are and why your wife left you. You are deluded and never accept responsibility. If you are such a regenerated soul basking in the spirit, you would have walked away and kept on walking and let God be the judge because that's what a true Christian does. There's 3 sides to every story, yours, the other persons and the truth which we clearly will not be getting from you. I for one can read you. You and your ”women are the devil mindset” need to take a walk off this page you clearly need help.
RIP Isioma God give you the peace some people will not let you have even in death.
@anon 2:08- no matter how you perceived the clear statement made by anon 5:51; that statement is absolutely the truth. It does not in a anyway justify cruel murder of Issy, but what anon 5:51 was explaining was that not all men would walk away from such dysfunctional situation. But he did which was why other men should emulate his actions instead of taking the law into his hands. @anon- this may sound ridiculous to you but if live in the State, you will understand what anon 5:51 was talking about. It is becoming an epidemic here in the USA, men killing their wives. The question now is what do we do?
DeleteI am a senior nurse in London and haven't heard of things like this happening in England. This is all down to the fact that people in America live above their reach therefore work excessively to live the American dream. I have visited family in America several times, truth is most of the nurses look haggard due to lack of rest from working back to back shifts. They don't even have time for their own children. It is all about competition and showing off in America, the white nurses don't live this way. I live a decent quality life with my kids and that's wealth enough for me.
Deleteanon@4:35 the same applies to nurses in the UK not only in America. I can see that you did not mention a husband. You said "I live a decent life with my kids and that's wealth enough for me". Maybe if you were to have a husband you might find yourself in the same situation as some of these nurses in the USA who work back to back shifts to feed their cravings.
DeleteHaven said that, I also live in the UK and have friends who have had her homes/marriages rocked to their foundations by nurses who live with their children without husbands but desire to have a man-figure in their lives. Where these nurses have failed to out-rightly destroy these marriages they have tangoed with, they have left sad footprints and wounds that only God can remove and heal. (Just for the records, among Nigerian immigrants in the UK, London is known as the bedrock of married and unmarried home-wrecker nurses).
Nobody knows what the situation was between the man and woman before he decided to kill her. It could be that she was demanding to be respected as a woman, wife and mother instead of being seen as a money-making machine. Who knows?. The fact remains that no matter the reason, she should not have been killed.
May her soul rest in peace
Anonymous 5.51pm, u are absolutely right in ur comments. Our pple abroad are really misbehaving. If u hv not leaved abroad, sorry u may not understand what we are talking about. Greed & ungratefulness is ravaging our pple's life overseas. Both male & females are guilty of these western madness called liberty & independence.
ReplyDeleteYou choose to live in white mans country ever heard of equal rights? get off your ass wand work enough opportunities.i live abroad people need to stop moaning and if you want a submissive wife move back home and to your village.you may find the right person for you. the matter is simple once you earn your own money no body male or femaile will disrespect you unless you allow it. especially in america. i dont know what greed and ungratefulness as you call it have to do with anything, but judging by some comments i can tell the caliber of people posting such comments. We are talking of someone who has lost her life. nothing justifies that i am sorry. greed, ingratitude are now considered a justification for murder says the law and the bible abi? okay well done
DeleteYes, somebody lost her life, but won't it be nice to look at their lives from both sides to find out why this happened, yes the woman is dead, and there is no justification for taking a life, perhaps if we looked into her life with this man and find out what she could have done differently, it will help many people who are struggling with this kind of relationship, or help some people in getting into this kind of marriage.
DeleteSome men in USA already have emotional baggage when they go and marry a woman who eventually turns out to be much more than they are. These men go and marry younger women and they become nurses or doctors. Nurses and Doctors in USA make a whole lot of money especially if one if extremely qualified. A PREN UP AGREEMENT should be put in place before any marriage like this goes on as it protects both parties!
ReplyDeleteA PRE NUP AGREEMENT..typo
DeletePLEASE BE SURE OF UR COMMENTS..I KNOW THIS FAMILY WELL AND IM HAPPY WE R BRINGING THIS TO THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE EMBASSIES E.T.C,SHE WASNT MARRIED TO A NIGERIAN ,SHE WAS SHOT AND THEN THE KIDS RAN OUT AND THE FATHER TOOK THEM BACk TO THEIR ROOM,THIS WAS A MAN WITHOUT A JOB,ITS TERRIBLE BUT THE NIGERIAN GOVT SHOULD RISE UP TO HELP THEIR CITIZENS IN FOREIGN COUNTRIES AN AMERICAN CANNOT DIE IN NIGERIA AND THEY WOULD LET IT DIE EASILY!
DeleteExplain to us your accunt of this story. She was shot by who? Whose father are you refering to? She's not married to a Nigerian? Kindly clear the air. Tnx.
DeleteNot married to a nigerian? Did you read her name well? Some relative you are
DeleteLOL...anon @8.10 really needs to explain.
DeleteThey call it "Generational Gap." They probably saw things differently. An "Old School" man and a "Jet Age" woman who saw things differently and didn't see things from the same angle as those who belonged to the same generation. For instance, I love my father, but we hardly see things the same way. He always says "During my time," and I usually say "This man has come again." NOTE: This opinion is from someone who studied how people, cultures, and other groups relate to one another. So, I know exactly what I'm saying.
ReplyDeleteThe man is a beast!
ReplyDeleteAll of these boil down to the fact that our leaders ve failed us. If not, how will professionals of Nigerian nationality run helter skelter seeking for greener pastures abroad? Parents shld be careful who they give their children to in marriage. I pray God gives her family the heart to bear this loss.
ReplyDeleteThey have said it all,age difference was there problenn.How i wish we will hear the man's confession.
ReplyDeletePlease everyone who is blaming young professional women for daring to be more successful than their husbands should just shut up! Do these men not know how much doctors and nurses earn in the US before they bring them over? You go and marry a young professional women to boost your wealth and lifestyle and then try and crush and belittle her in various ways when your ego can't take the reality of a more successful wife. Any little pride the woman takes in her achievements is deemed disrespect and every action is scrutinized and catalogued as disloyalty to her husband. If you can't stand earning less than your wife don't marry a doctor!! Or you self face medical school. Shikena! African men need to move forward from the age where certain duties are seen as women's work. If your wife works long hours to bring income into the home, it is not disrespect to expect you to help clean the house or look after the kids when you're able to. She is simply tired and would appreciate the help. These same men then wonder why the wife vexes and drives them out. I ask, what is the point of a husband or wife who cannot provide financially but still refuses to alleviate the burdens of home life? You might as well be single.
ReplyDeleteVery well spoken. What a sad situation
DeleteWell said! Do not blame young professional women for being successful! May her soul rest in God's perfect peace.
DeleteThe best comment so far, God bless you.
DeleteBest way to end the discussion and horrible views, God bless you real good. I wondered what the young lady went through before she eventually died horribly. It's not an age issue it's individualism. There are so many stories of younger men doing what d man did to his wife, also you can't tell who will eventually be a murderer later. In life. May God help us all and may the Lord accept her soul in Jesus name, amen!
Deletefinally someone other than the free loaders i have blasted one after the other speaks from their construction alone you can tell who posts what. if you want plenty money plus respect be a man like your brothers back home who earn respect by being the man.. lazy ass men wanting to be king when they cannot provide ? please grab several seats and wait eh
DeleteYou are absolutely right!
DeleteSome men have huge egos inversely proportional to their ambition in life. Yet they want to subdue their wives/girlfriends who work really hard to be successful. Esp. African men who are quick to label a successful partner 'disrespectful'. Do you know how strenuous it is to be a resident doctor in the US? What a waste of great talent, Lord have mercy.
Spot on! You hit the nail on the head. America is an equal opportunity society - the men should have gone to Med school or nursing school themselves instead of importing someone to go to med school and slave for them. Even the meekest of women will rebel if she has to work long exhausting hours and still come home to meet housework. All the men in these stories we hear all earn less than their wives. That should be a lesson for all of them - find another way of making money...slave trade was abolished decades ago! Marriage is partnership!
DeleteThank you for your comment. that is simply the way it is!!!
DeleteMay her soul rest in peace. My advise to my fellow women please say no to abuse, report abuse immediately to save your life, this killing is too much some men have sold their conscience. Pls don't take bcos of what people will say and loss your dear life. Marriage is not a do or die affair. The other time in the same US a Nigerian man killed his wife (a nurse) and her mother then turn himself over to the police. What a wicked world we are living in.
ReplyDeleteNigerian men should pls learn to humble themselves and help their wives with the house chores.They don't know what is love at all.
Anonymous 5/4/14 8:10 pm, plz can u update me on what really happened, bcos wen things like dis happens, u may be left in d dark until u get d gist of d whole matter. Thank U
ReplyDeleteAge is probably not a factor. many Nigerian men have murdered their wives in cold blood. The common denominator is the medical field... All the murdered women seem to be RN's, Nurses or Doctors. Whats up with Medical women and their spouses???
ReplyDeleteAs a Physician -Scientist who has authored a book on immigration and health, including the impact of immigration on marriage, what i found is that once a woman feels economically self suficient in the US, the marriage takes a rear guard. This is a general observation and not a particular reference to the unfortunate case at hand. The medical /nursing field provides a life long assured income and job mobility. The Medics relations begin to make financial demands on her and put asunder in the marriage for their own gain !!!
DeleteExcept of course she comes from a disciplined and religious background that reveres holy matrimony.
That nursing job sucks, I am a Nigerian man currently working in that field, you get to be insulted by these women, reminds me of the seniority in my high school days in Nigeria, some of these women are so full of themselves especially the African female nurses, they walk around like they own the hospitals, and some of them who are supervisors are very insultive and rude, it is possible they come back to their husbands with such attitude.
Deleteunfortunately for you that is your profession, Your source of income. You take the money you accept the shit. Deal with it.
DeleteMajority of comments here are unfortunately, rubbish. A woman has lost her life! At the hands of her husband! Children are left without parents technically! Yet clowns are commenting on generational gap; economic inequality; cultural differences; diaspora life intricacies; etc. Pathetic.none of these hold water. May her soul rest in perfect peace and may God strengthen the family and be their comforter. Let's use common sense in such public discourse. An abominable act occurred. It is well with the family
ReplyDeleteAll the factors you've mentioned as rubbish are quite valid and possibly if not probably applicable to this case. Only the late Dr and her now incarcerated know for certain what really went down in their marriage, but we need to stop blaming some abstract evil force outside of ourselves. The devil will only ever tempt you with what is in your heart or mind already. A man who picks up a gun to settle an argument must already have the gun and have fantasized about using it previously. What did he think was going to happen? He would shoot and she won't die?!! My comment about men who marry professionals and then get jealous of their success was directed specifically at the comments above about what such men have "endured" at the hands of their wives, it was not directed at this particular unfortunate family.
DeleteI disagree with you, all of the above mentioned are factors to the distrust and the unfortunate act.
DeleteResponse to @ 12:07. Granted a mother has lost her life, and a father is incarcerated for the crime, tragedy all the way. But are you suggesting people should only pray and not discuss ways to end such calamities? Referring to other people's comments as rubbish is not only rude, it demonstrates the uncivilized nature of the author.
DeleteI it is so sad to hear dis
ReplyDeleteLord have mercy on that young lady soul. Our men needs to stop marrying their grand children age. Why are you sponsoring a woman to college when you yourself have not been to college.? Growing up African men used to grow up, go to school or get some trade, make a living ,build or rent houses and then marry.Then they used to get all the respect from their household and wife. Nowadays especially abroad men have surrender breadwinning to their wives. You cant eat your cake and have it. You want respect, get some trade or education , get a job , work hard and provide for your family and respect will follow you as you will also be fulfilling your God given duties . Most importantly , dont marry your child's age as you will not be able to keep up with her. Young women, marry your age group that you love. Dont marry one old man because he lives abroad. Life abroad is not gold. God help us all and help the children of this family.
ReplyDeleteReally its sad.I had the same problem but cos I believe in my God and self I left the house after my ex claimed that she bought the house and that I should pack out.if the man knows he is a man and not a gold digger or whatever some people will call him he should damn whatever and let the young girl be instead of killing her.I equally believe that most problems if not all between a husband and wife comes from third parties more especially from selfish friends and in-laws.whatever my dear its all over; and its only God that will vindicate us.
ReplyDeleteWe have an updated picture of Isioma, one of her kid and the murderer ..click here for update pictures ..http://www.cknnigeria.com/2014/04/picture-of-nigerian-medical-doctor-and.html
ReplyDeleteThe bottomline is this- if you're in an abusive relationship riddled with domestic violence, this is the time to get out!
ReplyDeletePlease stop keeping the front of happiness when you're dying inside!
The society may not understand!
But you owe it a responsibility to those innocent children to be ALIVE!
Marriage is not just about finding the right person but learning to love and respect the person you found, irrespective of the age difference.
When violence becomes the order of the day in a marriage, it's advisable you seek help or counsel from either spiritual authority you and your husband submit to, marriage counsellors or close relations he respects. Don't ignore the warning signs.
PLEASE, don't sit back and "enjoy or endure" the violence!
Why die for nothing?
If you know your life is at risk or threatened in that marriage, get help NOW, while you can. You are too valuable to die! Forget the shame, swallow your pride and get help. Don't try to impress anyone! It's your life we're talking about, please! Also, as women, we must
caution ourselves in our relationship with our spouses, especially the way we talk and react to them. We must be slow to speak and slow to anger. Shouldn't you wonder why a man after 1, 2, 3years of marriage suddenly begins to hit, slap or beat his wife? For every action, there is always a reaction. What propelled him? And I'm not in anyway trying to justify such babaric action. I'm only saying we would reduce the friction in our homes if we relate with our spouses the way God destined it. In some cases, the husband might have been a victim of violence when he was a kid or watched his father beat his mother and assumed that should be the order in his own home too. And that's why we should be models to our children. You may not know this, but they watch us. They watch the way we treat and respond to our spouses and how he treats and responds to us. And they grow up with such memories, whether pleasnt or unpleasnt. Let's watch it. As much as possible, don't argue in their presence. Don't involve them in your differences. The problem is that over time, most people grow tired of caring for their marriages. Most people become selfish and impatient. So they stop extending common courtesies, being sensitive, and thoughtful. They stop giving their marriages time and energy. And they treat the person closest to them in a way they would never treat even a stranger on the street. How do you treat your spouse? Let's check it. Meanwhile, I still maintain my earlier stand. If your life is in danger in that marriage, get help! Don't wait till you are brutally injured or murdered!
If your life is threatened in your marriage, get help. And get it NOW. May our joy not be turned to sorrow IJN.
Toyin God Bless your honesty. You know a good wife when you hear her speak
Delete@4:13pm you just hit the nail on the head, if you are in an abusive relationship, the time to get out is now, no shame, just run, be you the man or the woman, I live here in America, our men here likes to train woman back home and later bring them over with out proper information, parents back home should stop also giving their daughters out to strange men, I can tell you, with the little I have witness over here, the age matters in America, this old men bring young girls over, and when the girls get here, they begin to see people here marry almost same age and they are shy to move around with the men. my good friend trained this girl back home as a nurse and brought her here, the very day he showed me her picture before she came, I asked him how old she was, 23yrs and he was 45yrs, the moment she arrived, they started having problems which I was involved and trying to settle them, one night they argued and she slept in my house, she confessed to me that she did not love him, he was too old for her that her mother persuaded her to marry him so as to come to America since she was the first child and she had to and now, she really can not be with him, I told her to tell him and she did and today they are divorced and she went back and married her former boyfriend back home. end of story any abusive relationship abeg walka.
DeleteHmmmmmm!!!! It is well. Signs of the end time. God save our soul from destruction. Jesus is coming soon. Time to hold on to your faith and what you believe in.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a section on the Impact of immigration on marriages, in my book "immigration and health" . It is pathetic but the events have explanations. The point is that immigration negatively imparts the power balance between a couple whose marriage was contracted in a foreign ( Nigerian cultural setting). In America a switch to a 'western model of marriage" alters the paradigm on which marriage is built. The man as provider and head and the woman as nurturer. There is an attenuation of this distinction, and sometimes a reversal, with women now being the bread winner. if the situation is not handled with care by the couple, or if external influences get involved ( family and friends on either side) it could be explosive. The solution is annual marital counseling within our native African context with a certified marital counselor.
ReplyDeleteThe Bible says my ppl are destroyed for lack of knowledge, devil is the enemy of marriage, he uses all tricks to attack homes, pls we need to pray very well, not because of today but because of upcoming generation, and let us men and women continue to exerrcise patients with our spouses. It is well in Jesus name. Let's make Jesus the foundation of marriage, let's create a family alter where family will pray together and share the word of God at least once a day, by doing this we will be able to forgive one another.
ReplyDeleteThe Bible says my ppl are destroyed for lack of knowledge, devil is the enemy of marriage, he uses all tricks to attack homes, pls we need to pray very well, not because of today but because of upcoming generation, and let us men and women continue to exerrcise patients with our spouses. It is well in Jesus name. Let's make Jesus the foundation of marriage, let's create a family alter where family will pray together and share the word of God at least once a day, by doing this we will be able to forgive one another.
ReplyDeleteI pray dat God will put it in the heart of her kids to forgive their father .. May the Lord comfort her parents, siblings, children and also the family of the murderer too be cuz they are mourning too;@least none of his family will advise him to KILL his wife.
ReplyDeleteNo one should pass judgement or point fingers. The truth is this: we are living on a different planet unlike our parents, we have different mind set. Marriage to this generation is a contract, only to be terminated at any time. Pls. if u cannot take the heat, avoid the kitchen. A lot of people are choosing not to be married and that's fine but if u do, pls. respect the institution and do all u can to preserve it. If you are already in and things are going terribly wrong, just get out. No one has the right to take another's life in the name of marriage. On the age or income side: For the men if your wife is earning more than you, you should be happy and treat her like the first day she came into your life. Help with the children, cook, clean, do what ever it takes to make her happy. Trust me she will be so pleased and will appreciate all your efforts. There is nothing like "ego" in marriage it means " I love you, and I am here for you". You do not wash the dishes with "penis" but with your hands please people embrace the changes and move with the time. There must be mutual respect on both sides. My son is a medical doctor, comes home from work, starts dinner, take out the garbage, change diaper etc. Wife phones from work "Honey what's for dinner, I need to finish one more thing, I will be home in an hour". If it is working for them, who am I to intrude? They are happy and it is working for them. As a Nigerian concerned mother, please my people look around and embrace the changes. For the ladies: respect your husbands, appreciate him more when he does some of the chores. Do not take him for granted or belittle him like a child. Always say "thank you Honey for all you do, I don't know what I 'll had done without you". Treat him like he is the most important person in your life. It works magic. Please do not drive your wife or husband to the point of insanity. Enough of this killing of spouses.
ReplyDeleteThank you ma for your candid advice. You trained yourself well and he obviously wasn't brought up with the notion that men are inherently superior to women. He doesn't feel belittled by helping around the house.
DeleteGod bless you ma. We must debunk the myth that the African male species is the owner of his wife as if she were a piece of property. No one owns no one.
By the way, there is no marriage in heaven..it is only the people of this age who marry and are given in marriage. If it's not for you, live out your single life fulfilled and happy with what you make of it.
Lets stop the stigma attached to single unmarried widowed people.
The sun shines alike on all.
May this man die a horrible death in Jesus name
ReplyDeleteI SPEAK TO ALL MARRIED COUPLES TO KNOW WHEN TO ISSUE THE 'RED CARD' OR 'YELLOW CARD'. WHY SULK OVER A PRODUCT YOU BOUGHT WITH WITH YOUR LIFE AND MONEY , MARRIAGE IS AN EXCHANGE OF TWO PERSONALITIES ,SO WHEN COMPATIBILITY FLIES OUT ,PLEASE DO NOT MANAGE IT ,THIS LEADS TO RESENTMENT, HATRED, POISON, WITCHCRAFT OR GUN SHOT, AS THE CASE WITH PISTORUS AND THIS NIGERIAN , THEY ARE BOTH VICTIMS OF 'LOVE', THEY FOUND OUT THEY WERE LOOSING THEIR MOST PRECIOUS PROPERTY ,HENCE THEY TOOK THE SATANIC WAY OF SHOWING PROTECTION, IF I CAN NOT HAVE YOU ,THEN NO ONE . MY SYMPATHY TO THE FAMILY ,NB I BEG WOMEN AND MEN , YOU DO NOT NEED TO KILL TO FREE YOUR SELF OR WOMEN TURNING THEIR MEN TO 'BINGO' OR 'YES MA' ,IN THE HOUSE ,JUST BECAUSE YOU FOUND 'LOVE' ELSEWHERE AND YOU WANT TO HAVE ALL ;THE LIBERTIES' OF ENJOYING IT . HOW MANY MEN ARE DEAD ALIVE TODAY IN MANY HOMES ? THEY R MADE ROBOTS IN THEIR HOMES ,BECOS MADAM HAS FOUND LOVE ELSEWHERE ,THIS LOVER ,COULD EVEN BE A OGA'S DRIVER , P/A, TAILOR, HOUSEBOY, COUSIN,UNCLE ETC. JESUS IS LORD
ReplyDeleteIs Oscar postorius and his girl friend not of same age.it has nothing to do with age
ReplyDeleteThis is one very sad news. The kind you wish had never happened or that you had never read.
ReplyDeleteSome people queried why this lady chose to marry this man. And I say, this is where the cultural "thing" comes in. Are we sure he did not "marry" her as a child, footed/paid for her education and all? Maybe she had "no hand" in this her marriage to the man who is more than old enough to have her as his child because she was just obeying her parents. Maybe the parents advised, convinced, even mandated her to marry him because he is "mature" and will take care of her. Whatever might have been the reason why they married each other, the young lady did not marry to be killed.Neither was she given him so he could kill her.
Meanwhile, age-gap should not be seen as the harbinger of a troubled marriage, the character of the individuals involved is the determining factor.When your character is nothing but negative to the sustenance of the marriage tenets, expect problems and troubles. Male or female, your emotions "belong" to you, they should not rule you; instead, you should rule them!!! You should not be slaves to your feelings and emotions!!!
When you cannot control yourself in the department of emotions and feelings, you commit atrocities; you get angry unnecessarily and to the point of killing, your sexual drive leads you to sleep around like a dog, you refuse to take care of the spouse you married before God and man. When you allow your feelings and emotions take the reign of character building from you, you will steal, lie, destroy, cheat, in every area of your life especially in marriage. You see, our character is exposed through the choices we make. And, life is about choices!!!
This very incident is very sad, highly unfortunate, unnecessary and uncalled for. Killing anyone for any reason should not have been, and must never be, an option.That man did not create that lady's life, therefore he had/has no right to take it. That is the bottom-line!!!
We are talking about life here, once snuffed out you can never get it back!!!
I am certain that if the man is asked now whether killing his wife for whatever reason he did is worth it, he would say No. If asked if he would do things differently from the way he did that Saturday morning (based on the reality he is going through now), he would say Yes.
Acting in anger is pure stupidity, one always live to regret such actions.
Unfortunately again, in this case; another life is lost, children will grow up without the love and presence of a mother and with the consciousness that their father killed their mother. What a way to grow up what a great weight of an issue to deal with!!!
You find yourself in an abusive relationship/marriage? Please put an end to that relationship. When you have life you can effect changes, you cannot do it in the grave. Refuse to be added to the data. Choose life!!!!!!!
To the glory of God, I did, 28 years ago. After 3 years of an emotionally, psychologically and physically abusive marriage. I remarried 10 years after to a man who is 9 years older than me and here I am today...
BIOGRAPHY OF DR JOAN ISIOMA NKEONYEASUA AWELE UNOKANJO-EBEGBODI:
ReplyDeleteDr Mrs Joan Isioma Nkeonyeasua Awele Unokanjo-Ebegbodi was born to Dr Joseph Unokanjo of Asaba and Mrs Kate Unokanjo (nee Eneanya) of Oba, both in Nigeria on the 25th of November, 1977 at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LITH), Lagos, Nigeria. She was the 1st child of her parents.
She attended The Fountain School, Surulere, Lagos, Nigeria from 1980 to 1987 for her Nursery and Primary Education. She did her Secondary Education (Higher School) at Federal Girls Secondary School, Onitsha (1987-1990) and Queen’s College (QC), Lagos (1991-1993). She graduated as a medical doctor with MB; BS from College of Medicine of the University of Lagos (CMUL) in 2001 at the age of 23 years. She did her Housemanship (Pre registration Internship) at LUTH in 2001/2002. After which Isioma sponsored herself to the USA to continue her medical career in 2003. She sat and passed the US Board Examination for Foreign Medical Graduates in 2004 with flying colours and the top of her pack.
She wedded Martin Ebegbodi at St Agnes Catholic Church, Maryland, Lagos on 28th May, 2005 after the traditional marriage ceremony at her father’s home in Asaba on 14th May, 2005. They had married in the registry in the US prior to going to Nigeria for their wedding. It was a marriage that Martin contrived by deceit and lies to Isioma and her family. Nonetheless, it was blessed with 4 children – Nddy (boy, 8 years), Nkem (girl, 7), Nonye (girl, 4) and her twin brother, Nedum (boy, deceased).
Isioma was admitted for Paediatrics residency programme in New York in 2005 but did not take up the offer as a result of her marriage and 2 births in quick successions. She started a residency programme in Internal Medicine and Paediatrics (Med/Paed) in Marshfield Clinic, Marshfield, Winsconsin in 2007 but had to withdraw after one year to look after her autistic child. At the time of her murder by her husband she was a Clinical Documentation Specialist at Providence Hospital, Kansas City.
Isioma was a very pretty and personable lady who was forever happy and self-assured. She radiated love, joy, confidence and happiness which permeated her environment. You could pick isioma in any crowd from her smiling face and friendly aura. She made friends easily and had a pleasant and empathic disposition; ever-ready to offer help and assistance to whosoever asked her. She loved her children passionately that it became her undoing in the hands of her evil, jealous and wicked husband, who terminated her life in a very callous and violent manner. She least deserved such death. Her premature death is a huge loss to all who knew her especially her children, Immediate and extended families, friends, her profession and her countries – USA and Nigeria. What a loss; what a waste. But God knows best; and we all give Him glory, praise and thanks for the life we shared with her during her short sojourn on earth. May her soul rest in peace in Heaven. We pray that each of her children she left behind will have a life of joy, love, fulfillment, peace, prosperity, success and tranquility as if Isioma is alive and as ordained for him/her by God – Amen.
FRIENDS OF ISIOMA AT QC AND CMUL.
BIOGRAPHY OF DR JOAN ISIOMA NKEONYEASUA AWELE UNOKANJO-EBEGBODI:
ReplyDeleteDr Mrs Joan Isioma Nkeonyeasua Awele Unokanjo-Ebegbodi was born to Dr Joseph Unokanjo of Asaba and Mrs Kate Unokanjo (nee Eneanya) of Oba, both in Nigeria on the 25th of November, 1977 at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LITH), Lagos, Nigeria. She was the 1st child of her parents.
She attended The Fountain School, Surulere, Lagos, Nigeria from 1980 to 1987 for her Nursery and Primary Education. She did her Secondary Education (Higher School) at Federal Girls Secondary School, Onitsha (1987-1990) and Queen’s College (QC), Lagos (1991-1993). She graduated as a medical doctor with MB; BS from College of Medicine of the University of Lagos (CMUL) in 2001 at the age of 23 years. She did her Housemanship (Pre registration Internship) at LUTH in 2001/2002. After which Isioma sponsored herself to the USA to continue her medical career in 2003. She sat and passed the US Board Examination for Foreign Medical Graduates in 2004 with flying colours and the top of her pack.
She wedded Martin Ebegbodi at St Agnes Catholic Church, Maryland, Lagos on 28th May, 2005 after the traditional marriage ceremony at her father’s home in Asaba on 14th May, 2005. They had married in the registry in the US prior to going to Nigeria for their wedding. It was a marriage that Martin contrived by deceit and lies to Isioma and her family. Nonetheless, it was blessed with 4 children – Nddy (boy, 8 years), Nkem (girl, 7), Nonye (girl, 4) and her twin brother, Nedum (boy, deceased).
Isioma was admitted for Paediatrics residency programme in New York in 2005 but did not take up the offer as a result of her marriage and 2 births in quick successions. She started a residency programme in Internal Medicine and Paediatrics (Med/Paed) in Marshfield Clinic, Marshfield, Winsconsin in 2007 but had to withdraw after one year to look after her autistic child. At the time of her murder by her husband she was a Clinical Documentation Specialist at Providence Hospital, Kansas City.
Isioma was a very pretty and personable lady who was forever happy and self-assured. She radiated love, joy, confidence and happiness which permeated her environment. You could pick isioma in any crowd from her smiling face and friendly aura. She made friends easily and had a pleasant and empathic disposition; ever-ready to offer help and assistance to whosoever asked her. She loved her children passionately that it became her undoing in the hands of her evil, jealous and wicked husband, who terminated her life in a very callous and violent manner. She least deserved such death. Her premature death is a huge loss to all who knew her especially her children, Immediate and extended families, friends, her profession and her countries – USA and Nigeria. What a loss; what a waste. But God knows best; and we all give Him glory, praise and thanks for the life we shared with her during her short sojourn on earth. May her soul rest in peace in Heaven. We pray that each of her children she left behind will have a life of joy, love, fulfillment, peace, prosperity, success and tranquility as if Isioma is alive and as ordained for him/her by God – Amen.
FRIENDS OF ISIOMA AT QC AND CMUL.
I feel very sad reading this story. I went to QC and was a year ahead of Isioma. I do not recall knowing her while we were in school but this story touches a very raw nerve. From what I have read and pictures I have seen of her, she was young, bright, pretty, had a very promising future and did not deserve any of what happened to her no matter what the circumstances may have been. I feel sad for her children who have been condemned to living without her at a time when they need her the most. At their ages, just having their mother cuddle them is one of the most precious things they could ever have. May her soul rest in peace and may God give her children and her family the fortitude to bear such a great loss.
ReplyDeleteWhat a tragic death caused by a devilish husband of Isioma.? He could have shot himself if he is frustrated with his own life than to take away the life of an innocent pretty young lady in her prime life and leaving her kids , families, friends, neighbours, and above all NIGERIA and USA MEDICAL ASSOCIATION in perpetual mourning. Heaven will forever reject YOU. and everlasting HELLFIRE will engulf you for your selfish reason for acting that way. MAY HER GENTLE SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE WITH THE ALMIGHTY FATHER AMEN.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI just want to share my experience and testimony here.. I was married for 9 years to my husband and all of a sudden, another woman came into the picture.. he started hailing me and he was abusive..but I still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost? then he filed for divorce..my whole life was turning apart and I didn't know what to do..he moved out of the house and abandoned the kids.. so someone told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back and introduced me to a spell caster? so I decided to try it reluctantly..although I didn't believe in all those things? then when he did the special prayers and spell, after 2days, my husband came back and was pleading..he had realized his mistakes..i just couldn't believe it.. anyways we are back together now and we are happy..in case anyone needs this man, his email address prophetsalifu@gmail.com, his spells is for a better life. again his email is prophetsalifu@yahoo.com.
So many comments for and against people we never knew. Whatever lead to the death of this woman, may the lord open our eyes of understanding and may we learn to be tolerant of one another, not be quick to judge others, love one another and live in peace . May her soul rest in peace while her family , friends and loved ones are comforted in Jesus name.
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